this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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