You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
