she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
