we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
