shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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