He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
