State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
