tell your sister to shave her snatch
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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