i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
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I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize