i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
