Your tits are I can't wait for
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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