no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
