I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
