Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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