I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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