My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize