We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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