apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
