hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i permit you to call me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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