It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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