you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
