so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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