Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
