i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
