My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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