even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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