Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
