Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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