I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
