Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
