Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize