It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
