In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
