Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I intend to get homeless drunk
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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