We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
