I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
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why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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