and she was petting her beer can
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.