Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.