I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize