Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
