she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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