Define "chronic" masturbator.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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