you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
