my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Who died my cat blue again?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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