Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
