How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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