i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
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Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
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420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
tell me about the eggs
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize