I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize