my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
