Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
