It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
