I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
