You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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