me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
