I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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