I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
