okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
