Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
