i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i wish my penis had a tongue
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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