So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
