it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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