Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
