We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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